Saturday, August 07, 2010

Having a ball in Joubertina


I think there is a lot of evidence to show that it is very likely that God is very fond of balls.

We all live on one, for a start - this pale blue dot spinning through space, surrounded by a whole lot of other balls. I remember that wonderful Giglio show all about space. It made me feel really small and God is, of cause, very big.

I have a lot of balls around me right now in the koshuis. Pool balls, ping pong balls, volleyballs and soccer balls. Never mind the rugby ball. I'm fed up with rugby right now, and anyway it's not a true ball...

Years ago I worked in Arcadia, in the days of Apartheid. I was young, with so much passion and vision. I wanted to reach the 'lost' and the 'poor' and the gangsters on the corners, smoking boom. I remember praying fervently for them as they sat there, under their gloomy cloud.
So I went out walking with a ball. I was pretty fearless then, armed with my ball. Those boys were covered in tattoos, not body art, you understand, but 'tjuppies' - the prison variety.

I sat with them there, under the vandalized street signs, and talked balls. That was the beginning of the football team. They, like God, also liked balls.

Balls!
I am 48 this years and too tired for it all anymore. I try not to regret things but today I do. I regret the walking out I've just done again, with balls. I regret the pool, table tennis and volleyball me and my family started for children here. I regret the fact that someone closed it down after only a couple of weeks because of some childrens' petty misdemeanour. I regret the fact that it seems as though no one really cares...

I regret the regret.

I took on a job to work with food and finances. The only balls in sight were supposed to be a meatball, brussels sprout,onion, beetroot, baby potato or tomato.

Some things should be left well alone, and either I've lost my touch (dropped the ball) or doing work with balls is not what it used to be.

In a place like Joubertina I'm an English, liberal misfit (strangely enough a bit like a rugby ball once was I guess).
I stood up here and shot my mouth off about a whole lot of things. Well, there are more cannonballs and gunshot still out there than I realized. Man made balls, the lot of them. More than my mouth has been shot off.

Balls are fun, except when they come at you. Hard.
I now know how those Goalies felt.
Devastated.

It's not Gods fault. I take most of the blame.
I don't think He ever intended me to do more right now than cook up a storm.

At the moment its all a right balls' up!

2 comments:

  1. Anonymous7:53 PM

    I remember getting a tennis ball in the face when I was in primary school, thrown hard by one of the big boys. It hurt like crazy and I was in shock. And that was an accident.

    I wish you some some peace and recuperation with all my heart. Sorry to hear about the koshuis ball play shut down. Wish I could send a red card to that player...

    Love, Corli

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sorry to hear about the closed door.
    I trust that you can surrender that game and just watch and wait to see what ball the Lord allows to land in your court.
    We will all see the 3rd Umpire's decision one day!

    ReplyDelete